Robin Hood (2018) review

Everyone feels the same by the end of the movie as they do at the start, which might seem crazy as they set up Robin Hood as some rich guy. But his “heart of gold”, his attitude, his outlook on life, barely changes throughout the runtime. He never really flaunted his wealth, heck he inherited his castle, and he got drafted into the army regardless. He didn’t even fight back against that.

Quick cutting action scenes! Oh do I love action sequences where I can’t tell what’s going on. Man I love it when they show the same thing in 3 quick cuts that give you a headache.

Bland sound design. People getting shot with arrows doesn’t sound like people getting shot with arrows. It sounds like I thwacked my countertop.

I think it is and it isn’t as it’s suitably violent but without blood which in some instances appears to have been intended. Robin himself racks up quite the body count in his efforts to steal from the absurdly rich Sheriff, dragging presumably innocent lives into his own personal vendetta (which is fueled by Jamie Foxx, who goes back and forth between playing Jamie Foxx and Jamie Foxx’s vague interpretation of an “Arab”, quotes included).

But because he gets results, the community rallies around him. Off screen, mostly, so that when it comes time to rally the town against the Sheriff (though one wonders why they never left if they were forced to give everything they owe to the war) they all get behind him.

There is a lot of conflicting or lazy character choices in the film, too many to get into great detail, but they keep resetting any feelings you may develop naturally when a movie is–how you say–consistent. On top of that, accents are a complete afterthought.

The lead actress, an Irish actor, can’t even keep an accent in her native tongue for more than a sentence every other scene she’s in. The rest of the time she’s speaking plain American English like everyone’s afraid to remind her of her character’s betrothal to another Irishman, Jamie Dornan.

Oh yeah, he’s in this, and his character’s arc is, in order: nonexistent, then confusing and script-serving, then literally Two-Face from The Dark Knight in a categorically stupid franchise setup that promises to tell the exact same story again next time.

Watch it if you have freetime or got nothing else to watch, you won’t missed anything if you skipped it in the cinema.

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